If, however, you have enjoyed this frippery, please send money and/or poems about 18th Century parachuting to me ; or alternatively read this cv and offer me a job (no reasonable offer refused). If you send me your address, I'll even send you a postcard (offer applies to non-UK residents only). Oh, and you could also use the feedback page to help me find out who's visiting me.

Thanks to Demon Internet for extracting money from my credit card with such soothing regularity, and to Margaret Thatcher for the flowers. None of this would have been possible without the following people:- my agent, my manager, my masseuse, my accountant, my hairdresser, my brain surgeon (hi, Jeremy!), the inhabitants of Huddersfield, my pet trifle Angela, my æ ðôþß ÑÇýØ wibble ÆÅÐ&Öòÿ URL DNS Interrupt Error... çåll ãgâïñ sømëtímé