"Oh, Isle of Tough Art"
...a pretentious play about hope, love, and Swedish artichoke perversion.
Starring...
Andy Holten as Colonel Blundermuck-ScubbAndy Warhol as Trubshaw the Butler
Gizza Job as Piers Haughallerton III
Andy Wozhere as Cynthia Potts-Strumpett
Ivory Towers as Chief Uguru M'Guru
Roy Hattersley as Phoebe the Housemaid
Lord King of Milton Keynes as Flummock, the flying horse
Teddy Pooter-Ffoulkes as Shifty Character
Sean Bean as Tommy the tennis coach
Jed Thunderbird as Randy Van Randy.
Acted out in a small town in Middlesex without the use of any American money, thank you very much.
The plot:
In a sleepy Thropshire village, Old Stodder shuffles hesitatingly toward the oyster-pond, his cheeks flapping in the reeking wind emanating from the weasel factory. He is thinking of Jennifer, the parsnip-stuffer from Venice Beach who brought happiness into his amber-tinted life on St Hislops Day. Despite his 97 years of age, he commences to cartwheel gaily, but ceases when his religious beliefs wane.
Meanwhile, upstream, Tilly the Milkmaid is relaxing in a convenient haystack. Her pink, waxy hair trembles as she watches the port-laden trees floating gently along the River Whence, and the scarecrows gadwaining upon the throsky blods. A cheery "Halloo" lands on her knee, sweats, and takes off for nearby Brize Norton airbase. Wessex ingratiates.
Lord Jumper, Trole of Linden, hoves into sight, powered by electro-strobe. He floats strangely past the now wottering hayrick, and raises his ankle as if to alleviate a small applemark. Tilly, pausing only to mature, haughtily shakes her fusters in response.
Now read on...
Stop press: The play has been postponed until
- It has been written
- Intelligent life is found in Slough
- BMW drivers grow up
